Post by nickv on Mar 6, 2008 22:59:49 GMT -8
Post a comment with Gridshipper, The Urban Travel Guide if you disagree with this writer. The article is in black. My comments are in Teal. I had to edit portions of the article due to cussing.
......................
Bus Travel Can Kill You: A Guide to Survival
The brilliant David Sedaris writes that: "The bus from North Carolina to Oregon takes four days, which breaks down to roughly seventy-five thousand hours if one is traveling without the aid of a strong animal tranquilizer." How eloquently put!
nick v: I guess this writer needs to learn what it takes to go on a cross country journey. It's not all about the destination, but how much fun you can have on the way.
Once out of the urban area, recline your seat, and watch
the scenery roll by. Pull out your headphones or book
and relax.
Unless you have said tranquilizer, any upcoming bus trip, especially a Greyhound one, is bound to be [bad] and will probably scar you for life. But, wait a minute, what say you? You never go anywhere by bus in the U.S. of A.? Kids, let's face it, the economy [is bad now], renting a car is a scam, Amtrak train rides are long and expensive, and air travel has become a lot less reliable. A memorable bus trip is probably in your near future, but do not embark until you read my tried and true advice, from one survivor to (hopefully) another.
nick v: Strange as it is written here, more and more people are taking the train! and the bus!
Never fear, it's not that bad! Okay, no, it is. The upsides to that imminent bus ride abound, however:
You will be gaining a plethora of uncalled-for dramatic quotes (great for future use) by your bus driver, such as, "I am hopeful that we'll make it. We've pushed this bus as far as she can go!" and on the phone to the bus station, "This isn't rocket science! We are a BUS on the side of the road, 9 miles outside the city! You can't miss us!"
nick v: Funny thing is, out of my lifetime of riding buses, I've only experienced two breakdowns while on board and the delays were each under one hour. By the way, my bus drivers have been truthful and honest about what they quote to passengers.
You will experience the humble feeling of getting left at a rest stop for truckers, and subsequently realize that it is possible to sustain life with vending machine edibles alone.
You will probably have multiple epiphanies while eating Roy Rogers at 4 in the morning and contemplating the 5-foot plush bunnies in the adjoining gift shop.
nick v: Then why did my Las Vegas bus (5 years ago) stop at Barstow at high noon for a 30 minute lunch break on the way up and at sunset for dinner on the way back? 2 Years ago on a road trip to Arizona, why did I see a Greyhound bus stop for a break at a McDonald's in Blythe right at breakfast time?
Lastly, when your bus flips over or catches fire, you will finally believe the statistics about vehicular accidents strongly outnumbering those of planes.
nick v:One comment on that: The stats have been taken out of context in the writer's argument! Although air travel is one of the safest modes of transportation, bus travel is also very safe too and is much more safer than car travel. Turn on your radio during rush hour for your local area alone. How many car accidents do you count per day? How many bus wrecks in the same day? How many car wrecks nationwide per day? How many bus wrecks nationwide per day?
And some tips for making the trip more awesomer:
1) Always have a travel partner who will share your misery
Seriously, who will guard your [problems] when you, have to venture back to the smelly, sloshing hole of a restroom? And unless you are tardy to the station and are forced to split up, your seatmate will not be a sketchy stranger who wants to "share your pillow" and tell you how pretty you are while staring at your chest. (Why did I have to wear that shirt AND pigtails? What was I thinking?!?)
nick v: One word: Oversimplified! I've met all kinds of people on board buses and manage to find somebody to chat to for the ride, even on the Metro Red Line subway at 9:00 PM at night! By the way, both Coach USA and Greyhound (based on experience) both take good care of their bus bathrooms, and most long distance routes have 5-10 minute bathroom break stops every few hours anyway. As far as what I've seen, I'm been noticing that more and more gas stations along major corridors have been keeping their bathrooms clean and tidy, but I still run into a few stinky ones here and there.
2) Bring portable electronics that don't annoy people
An iPod is your lifeline on a bus. It drowns out the crying babies. Even if not turned on, it will dissuade most weirdos from striking up a conversation with you. Personal CD players and walkmans are adequate as well, and too uncool to consider stealing. Stock up on batteries or charge your electronics sufficiently so that if you multiply your travel time by 5, that optimistic road trip mix/playlist will persist. (A 2-hour trip can turn into a 10-hour [trip], trust me).
nick v: Having a personal music players handy is good, but who said the person sitting next to you will be a weirdo?
3) Be exhausted or take sleeping pills
Do not get sufficient rest the day/night before. Pack some Benadryl or legit sleeping pills, hug your bag to your chest, and hope for the best. Just like a boring class, wisdom teeth extraction, or a bad lover, sleeping through it is your best option. But what about all the Simon & Garfunkeled American-ness to be seen? The scenery on bus routes (interstate highways) is homogenous and depressing, unless you are playing fast-food restaurants car bingo.
nick v: Talk to your doctor before trying this....Take a bus trip from LA to Vegas or LA to Phoenix and I hope the writer will reconsider what he writes. Did I mention meeting other people and socializing makes the time fly?
4) Dress [badly]
Your level of comfort is directly proportional to how [bad] you are dressed. Collared shirt? No. Sweatpants? Yes. You will not be as [mad] when you inevitably sit on chewing gum or the obese dude next to you spatters fried chicken grease on your lap. You will potentially be throwing away your clothes anyway because of unabated "bus smell" or future association with bad memories.
nick v: Do dress in comfortable clothes, or have a change of clothes available in a carry-on bag... But I have never in my life (even on the school bus) sat on chewing gum on board a bus nor have I seen wet gum left on the seat! I've never had an odor issue onboard CoachUSA or Greyhound buses, even on board the older model buses.
5) Be OCD when it comes to hygiene
Your expectations for comfort, cleanliness, and general survival should be extremely low. Expect a bus "in need of fumigation because of foot odor" as one of my drivers put it, or be ready for a careless shrug of the shoulders when you explain that someone [went to the bathroom] all over the toilet seat. Use hand sanitizer excessively, no matter what the new age folks say about how it kills the "good germs." Pack toilet paper, because there won't be any. Pack those wimpy little tissue packs, because you will probably get your first nosebleed.
nick v: Yes, do wash your hands before you leave the bathroom and do pack hand sanitizer and toilet paper in the carry-on. If Greyhound manages to have a 'broken bathroom' on board the bus, write a letter.
6) Do not travel the day before Thanksgiving
The Thanksgiving holiday is quite possibly the worst time to ride the bus because most of us Americans are relegated to one central day to travel: Wednesday, the day before the always-on-Thursday Thanksgiving. I don't think I have ever witnessed so much hate as when waiting for my Pittsburgh-bound bus in the New York Port Authority Bus Terminal on that fateful Wednesday. Port Authority is regularly full of "characters," but thousands more of them come out of the woodwork with visions of turkey and canned cranberry sauce in their heads.
nick v: Well, after watching a news story a few years ago on 3 methods of travel (air, bus, car), the bus station was crowded, but nothing like the airports. A bus rider who was interviewed actually reported that the ride was relaxing. Everybody's got to be patient on this busy day of travel.
......................
Bus Travel Can Kill You: A Guide to Survival
The brilliant David Sedaris writes that: "The bus from North Carolina to Oregon takes four days, which breaks down to roughly seventy-five thousand hours if one is traveling without the aid of a strong animal tranquilizer." How eloquently put!
nick v: I guess this writer needs to learn what it takes to go on a cross country journey. It's not all about the destination, but how much fun you can have on the way.
Once out of the urban area, recline your seat, and watch
the scenery roll by. Pull out your headphones or book
and relax.
Unless you have said tranquilizer, any upcoming bus trip, especially a Greyhound one, is bound to be [bad] and will probably scar you for life. But, wait a minute, what say you? You never go anywhere by bus in the U.S. of A.? Kids, let's face it, the economy [is bad now], renting a car is a scam, Amtrak train rides are long and expensive, and air travel has become a lot less reliable. A memorable bus trip is probably in your near future, but do not embark until you read my tried and true advice, from one survivor to (hopefully) another.
nick v: Strange as it is written here, more and more people are taking the train! and the bus!
Never fear, it's not that bad! Okay, no, it is. The upsides to that imminent bus ride abound, however:
You will be gaining a plethora of uncalled-for dramatic quotes (great for future use) by your bus driver, such as, "I am hopeful that we'll make it. We've pushed this bus as far as she can go!" and on the phone to the bus station, "This isn't rocket science! We are a BUS on the side of the road, 9 miles outside the city! You can't miss us!"
nick v: Funny thing is, out of my lifetime of riding buses, I've only experienced two breakdowns while on board and the delays were each under one hour. By the way, my bus drivers have been truthful and honest about what they quote to passengers.
You will experience the humble feeling of getting left at a rest stop for truckers, and subsequently realize that it is possible to sustain life with vending machine edibles alone.
You will probably have multiple epiphanies while eating Roy Rogers at 4 in the morning and contemplating the 5-foot plush bunnies in the adjoining gift shop.
nick v: Then why did my Las Vegas bus (5 years ago) stop at Barstow at high noon for a 30 minute lunch break on the way up and at sunset for dinner on the way back? 2 Years ago on a road trip to Arizona, why did I see a Greyhound bus stop for a break at a McDonald's in Blythe right at breakfast time?
Lastly, when your bus flips over or catches fire, you will finally believe the statistics about vehicular accidents strongly outnumbering those of planes.
nick v:One comment on that: The stats have been taken out of context in the writer's argument! Although air travel is one of the safest modes of transportation, bus travel is also very safe too and is much more safer than car travel. Turn on your radio during rush hour for your local area alone. How many car accidents do you count per day? How many bus wrecks in the same day? How many car wrecks nationwide per day? How many bus wrecks nationwide per day?
And some tips for making the trip more awesomer:
1) Always have a travel partner who will share your misery
Seriously, who will guard your [problems] when you, have to venture back to the smelly, sloshing hole of a restroom? And unless you are tardy to the station and are forced to split up, your seatmate will not be a sketchy stranger who wants to "share your pillow" and tell you how pretty you are while staring at your chest. (Why did I have to wear that shirt AND pigtails? What was I thinking?!?)
nick v: One word: Oversimplified! I've met all kinds of people on board buses and manage to find somebody to chat to for the ride, even on the Metro Red Line subway at 9:00 PM at night! By the way, both Coach USA and Greyhound (based on experience) both take good care of their bus bathrooms, and most long distance routes have 5-10 minute bathroom break stops every few hours anyway. As far as what I've seen, I'm been noticing that more and more gas stations along major corridors have been keeping their bathrooms clean and tidy, but I still run into a few stinky ones here and there.
2) Bring portable electronics that don't annoy people
An iPod is your lifeline on a bus. It drowns out the crying babies. Even if not turned on, it will dissuade most weirdos from striking up a conversation with you. Personal CD players and walkmans are adequate as well, and too uncool to consider stealing. Stock up on batteries or charge your electronics sufficiently so that if you multiply your travel time by 5, that optimistic road trip mix/playlist will persist. (A 2-hour trip can turn into a 10-hour [trip], trust me).
nick v: Having a personal music players handy is good, but who said the person sitting next to you will be a weirdo?
3) Be exhausted or take sleeping pills
Do not get sufficient rest the day/night before. Pack some Benadryl or legit sleeping pills, hug your bag to your chest, and hope for the best. Just like a boring class, wisdom teeth extraction, or a bad lover, sleeping through it is your best option. But what about all the Simon & Garfunkeled American-ness to be seen? The scenery on bus routes (interstate highways) is homogenous and depressing, unless you are playing fast-food restaurants car bingo.
nick v: Talk to your doctor before trying this....Take a bus trip from LA to Vegas or LA to Phoenix and I hope the writer will reconsider what he writes. Did I mention meeting other people and socializing makes the time fly?
4) Dress [badly]
Your level of comfort is directly proportional to how [bad] you are dressed. Collared shirt? No. Sweatpants? Yes. You will not be as [mad] when you inevitably sit on chewing gum or the obese dude next to you spatters fried chicken grease on your lap. You will potentially be throwing away your clothes anyway because of unabated "bus smell" or future association with bad memories.
nick v: Do dress in comfortable clothes, or have a change of clothes available in a carry-on bag... But I have never in my life (even on the school bus) sat on chewing gum on board a bus nor have I seen wet gum left on the seat! I've never had an odor issue onboard CoachUSA or Greyhound buses, even on board the older model buses.
5) Be OCD when it comes to hygiene
Your expectations for comfort, cleanliness, and general survival should be extremely low. Expect a bus "in need of fumigation because of foot odor" as one of my drivers put it, or be ready for a careless shrug of the shoulders when you explain that someone [went to the bathroom] all over the toilet seat. Use hand sanitizer excessively, no matter what the new age folks say about how it kills the "good germs." Pack toilet paper, because there won't be any. Pack those wimpy little tissue packs, because you will probably get your first nosebleed.
nick v: Yes, do wash your hands before you leave the bathroom and do pack hand sanitizer and toilet paper in the carry-on. If Greyhound manages to have a 'broken bathroom' on board the bus, write a letter.
6) Do not travel the day before Thanksgiving
The Thanksgiving holiday is quite possibly the worst time to ride the bus because most of us Americans are relegated to one central day to travel: Wednesday, the day before the always-on-Thursday Thanksgiving. I don't think I have ever witnessed so much hate as when waiting for my Pittsburgh-bound bus in the New York Port Authority Bus Terminal on that fateful Wednesday. Port Authority is regularly full of "characters," but thousands more of them come out of the woodwork with visions of turkey and canned cranberry sauce in their heads.
nick v: Well, after watching a news story a few years ago on 3 methods of travel (air, bus, car), the bus station was crowded, but nothing like the airports. A bus rider who was interviewed actually reported that the ride was relaxing. Everybody's got to be patient on this busy day of travel.